A 12-week program for highly sensitive women who want to DROP the “Good Girl” identity and step into being the Authentic Woman who is boldly confident, owns her imperfections, and feels seen, loved, & respected in her relationships. 🎀🔥💃

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Breaking The Good Girl Cycle is...

The kind of program for self-abandoning “good girls” that takes you from overanalyzing your sister’s behavior, wondering if she’s upset and if you need to swoop in to “fix” things for her (again) TO having compassion for the people you care about without feeling responsible for fixing everyyy little thing (the vibe: “I love you, but you’ve got this!”).

It’s a program that FREES you from the confines of always trying to be perfect, have it all together, and NEVER upset anyone (because currently, even the IDEA of disappointing someone stresses you out, right?). 

Breaking The Good Girl Cycle is the program to take you from feeling the crippling pressure of always needing to please others and prioritize THEIR needs (no matter how they treat you) to becoming the Authentic Woman who’s loving, empathetic & kind AND has grounded confidence, healthy boundaries & says “no” with grace. 💃

Because when Good Girls become Authentic Women, they create lives of power, peace, and purpose. 🎀🔥💃

And in true Breaking The Good Girl Cycle fashion, we’re saying GOODBYE to…

🤸🧠Doing the mental gymnastics of dissecting everyone’s emotions and needs, feeling responsible for managing ALL of it. Like, wondering if your mom’s comment on the phone today was passive aggressive (“I don’t really want to do anything for my birthday next week…”) and if she’s actually expecting you to plan something. So, you add “make a dinner reservation” to your mile long to-do list because you know no one else in your family will remember.

🥵Burning yourself out at work – always staying late at the office, working through your lunch (while you resentfully watch your coworker’s leave for an hour every day!), and pushing through no matter how tired or sick you are JUST to be seen as impressive and like you can “handle it all”. You’ve become addicted to other people’s approval of you and receiving their validation while your mental and physical health suffers because of the chronic stress.

🙅‍♀️Avoiding your feelings by ONLY focusing on what you’re grateful for every day. You know it’s time to stop bypassing your very real emotions and guilting yourself for feeling sad or angry because “other people have it worse”, often feeling ASHAMED for the real human emotions you have.

🏆The perfectionistic thinking that if you’re justttt nice enough, say what people want to hear, and always do things the “right” way, you’ll be able to slip under the radar and avoid conflict because everyone will like you and be happy with you. (Meanwhile, you’re exhausted from being hypervigilant and never letting your guard down 😰)

🫡Always saying “yes”, agreeing with everyone else, and never sharing your TRUE opinion so that people are happy with you and YOU can feel like you’re a good person. Even though you’ve gotten to the point where you literally don’t know what you like, or how you feel because you’re always outwardly focused on other people. 

If you’re reading this, my friend, then I know that up until this point, being the “Good Girl” has been your identity. It’s a survival response that’s been the thing that’s kept you feeling safe, accepted, and good enough. You don’t know WHO you are if you’re NOT the “good girl”, right?

Okay, but HOW do we go from Good Girl to Authentic Woman?

I'm glad you asked. 😉 Let me break down the step-by-step process I'll be guiding you through in this 12-week program. 🤝

🎀Phase 1: Understanding How You Formed The “Good Girl” Identity

Here, you will uncover HOW you formed the identity of being the “good girl” who always feels like you have to keep it all together, take care of everyone else, and never ever drop the ball. We’ll identify exactly where this stemmed from you, how it’s kept you feeling safe/accepted, and get real about what you are GAINING from continuing this pattern (because yes, there’s something you’re getting from it which is why it’s so hard to break out of!) 

You know how every time you try to set a boundary or stick up for yourself, it leads to you feeling guilty, or second-guessing yourself, or totally backpedaling because you don’t want to upset the other person? Yeah, not anymore. Here you become someone who can clock yourself on those old patterns, handle discomfort, and choose yourself amidst it.

❤️‍🩹Phase 2: Recognizing How Being The “Good Girl” is Hurting You

Here, we get REAL about how the “good girl” identity is negatively impacting you and exactly which areas of your life it’s hurting the most. You’ll take a self-assessment to see how it’s coming up for you personally and why it may be the cause of chronic health issues; how it’s likely contributing to your relationship dissatisfaction and the way it’s stopping you from going after your dreams and being bold (because the fear of failure is too great - “what does it mean about me if I fail?”)

I refuse to let you be someone who lives with chronic anxiety, under the mounting pressure of “I need to do more all of the time” at the expense of your health, well-being, and personal peace. After this phase, you won’t be able to UN-see how this has impacted your life and you’ll know exactly WHAT you need to focus on so that you become the person that others look to and say, “Dang, she is so cool and confident! She really KNOWS who she is. I wanna be like HER.” or “You’re always so relaxed! How do you do it?”

💐Phase 3: Getting In Touch With Your Emotions + Processing Them In A Healthy Way (With A Special Guest Expert!)

Here, you will learn how to tune into, feel, and process your emotions in a healthy way so that you’re no longer suppressing them, avoiding, or shaming yourself for the way that you feel. Because real talk? Most “good girls” feel a lot of guilt around feeling big feelings, especially anger. And repressing your anger is KNOWN to cause chronic illness.

Here you become someone who is in TUNE with how you feel and knows how to process your emotions in a healthy way so that you’re not having emotional outbursts that surprise you, or dealing with chronic pain & illness that may very well be related to NOT feeling your emotions. You’ll know how to self-regulate so that you can use your deep-feeling, high sensitivity as a superpower and an ASSET in your life, rather than something you feel ashamed of.

🎭Phase 4: The Power of Shadow Work + Shame Healing (With A Special Guest Expert!)

Here, you’ll identify the parts of yourself that you cast aside and hid in order to fit in, belong, and feeling accepted by others – the shadow parts of you that you deemed as “bad” and “unlovable”. You’ll learn how to EMBRACE ALL parts of you – your quirkiness, dorky dance moves, passionate side, intensity, deep feelings.

Ever wonder why some people just EXUDE confidence and authenticity? Why they’re just magnetic and someone you want to be around? Yeah, it’s because they’re unapologetically themselves. They aren’t trying to impress anyone or hide parts of themselves. They are SO comfortable with all parts of them, the shiny and not-so-shiny which oozes authenticity and attracts others to them. That’s exactly what you get when you heal your shame and embrace your shadow parts. You become untouchable.

💃Phase 5: Your NEW Identity As The Authentic Woman

Here, we cast the vision for the woman you are BECOMING (really, the woman you are within, at your core, that you’ve covered up). What does this version of you look, feel, and act like? How does she handle conflict? What does she think of herself? We’ll get clear on WHO this version of you is! (This will allow you to cast the vision for your future - the North Star that you’re working toward; being your most true, Authentic self).

On the other side of this, you’re so CLEAR in who you truly, authentically are and you’ll have a roadmap for exactly how you want to act and move through the world. With this awareness, you’ll know where in your life you need to set boundaries and have tough conversations. You’ll feel a peace and congruence because you know WHO you are and where you’re going.

🧘‍♀️Phase 6: Embodiment & BEING The Authentic Woman

Here, you’ll learn how to tune into the wisdom of your BODY – to feel comfortable in your skin, your essence, your sensuality. To heal any shame you’ve felt for who you are and how you feel. You’ll learn how to be so intune with yourself, which as an HSP is a superpower because you have a tendency to be SO visceral and your body has so much wisdom. It’s time to EMBRACE IT and USE IT.

I refuse to let you be someone who’s disconnected from yourself and your body – who doesn’t know what’s going on with yourself or how you ACTUALLY feel. After this phase, you’re so in TUNE with yourself – your unique essence and the wisdom of your body. You know how to use it as a compass that guides you; you know what you need, what you feel, and you unapologetically trust yourself. You honor yourself – your body, your desires, your needs.

💞Phase 7: Authentic & Empowered Relationships

Here, we will identify your “good girl” triggers and get crystal clear on the ways that you’ll be tempted to go back into your old, self-abandoning ways to keep yourself safe. We’ll look at the relationships you have in your life – the people who’ve, up until this point, expected you to act and BE a certain way because it’s benefitted them. You’ll learn how to transcend the discomfort of this experience so that you can stay committed to being the most authentic version of you.

You know how you feel confident and empowered around some people, but like you shrink 5 sizes around others? Yeah, we’re changing that! After this phase, you’ll see your challenging relationships as opportunities to step into your NEW identity with even more confidence. You’ll know how to stay committed to yourself, amidst the discomfort, and redefine the dynamics of your relationships.

🌳Phase 8: Managing & Neutralizing Your Triggers For A Peaceful Life

Here, you’ll learn and master my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers, so ANY TIME you’re thrown a curveball and feel overwhelmed, tempted to fall back into self-abandonment to keep yourself safe, you’ll know how to use these triggers moments as opportunities to get curious, heal, and GROW.

On the other side of this, you’ll know exactly how to create space between the triggering experience and YOUR response to it, so that you’re no longer yanked around by other people’s actions. You don’t allow OTHER PEOPLE to make or break your day so you feel empowered and in control of your experience rather than like the “good girl” puppet like you were before.

Because when Good Girls become Authentic Women, they create lives of power, peace, and purpose. 🎀🔥💃

The vibe? Let's just say, I've been there.

Growing up, I was always the “good girl” – the girl who was quiet, agreeable, and nice – who always followed the rules, and did & said the right thing.

I thrived off of being told how nice and kind I was. Being seen as the “good girl” got me off the hook a lot and allowed me to avoid conflict. It kept me SAFE.

But I also felt like I needed to do SO MUCH to keep people around – to make sure they saw me as valuable & good enough. At all costs, I had to hide the “bad” parts of me that I was so ashamed of (my sensitivity, big emotions, and intensity).

In college, I prided myself in being the “cool girl” (basically just the “good girl” in different clothes!) who didn’t have any needs. I was easygoing. I didn’t complain. I never rocked the boat.

Yet, I was always walked all over. I had an emotionally toxic relationship that I put up with for years. I thought it was uncool to have “needs” and to be demanding, so I always acted like I was okay with whatever even when things bothered me, deep down. 

I found safety in being liked by others – in being seen as easygoing and not having needs and being told “you’re so cool! I wish other girls were like you.” I found status in being the cool girl and even judged others who weren’t. I tried my best to hide my sensitivity and any parts of me that could be seen as “needy”.

When I worked in the corporate world, I thrived off hearing, “I don’t know how you do it all!” and “Alissa is such a superstar!” while I had such bad digestive issues that I could only eat a small variety of foods without getting sick.

My identity was so wrapped up in how OTHER people saw me that I’d rather abandon myself and live with sickness than let others down or be seen as “not good enough”.

At that same corporate job, a male coworker was inappropriate toward me. And even though I knew it was wrong, I was terrified of confronting him and coming across as “mean”. I didn’t want to seem “uncool” or experience backlash as a result of speaking up.

I was SO uncomfortable with ever making other people uncomfortable, that I’d rather sit with pain and frustration and anxiety than ever speak up. Other people’s experience mattered more than mine (and also, my sense of safety was wrapped up in how other people viewed me).

It all came to a head when my digestive issues became completely unmanageable.

I learned that I was self-abandoning and that I ultimately had to heal my self-worth and the way that I valued myself. I learned that there were deep factors that kept me stuck in the claws of perfectionism and being viewed as “good” and “always doing the right thing”.

If I wanted to heal and live a life that felt authentic to me, I had to stop allowing other people’s perception of me and my identity of the “good girl” go away from good. I had to learn how to be COMFORTABLE with discomfort – how to let others down without that meaning I was a bad person. How to trust myself, feel connected to myself, know who I am instead of letting my personality be dictated by the people I was around. 

From there, I felt a confidence and an inner peace. That wherever I go, there I am. That I have my own back, always. That I am the person that I can rely on and that I can make mistakes and I’m still good enough.

I can be rejected, let others down, and say the wrong thing and that’s perfect. That I can take imperfect, messy action and it’ll be the exact thing that catapults me forward – that hiding behind the facade of the “good girl” is the thing that made me sick and unhappy and in a prison of what I thought I needed to be for other people.

Let 2024 be the year you do the same.

Let 2024 be the year you choose YOURSELF and become the Authentic Woman who tosses the guilt to the side, OWNS who you are, and isn’t so darn worried about what everyone’s thinking all of the time.

You’ve made it this far, so here’s what I know about you…

I know you are someone who wants a life that feels peaceful, fulfilling, and meaningful. You want to rest in the evening, being present with your family, without worrying about if your coworker is upset with you because of the weird vibe she gave you.

You want to be so HERE and NOW that you belly laugh with your kids and hold hands with your spouse while looking at the sunset because you’re so in the present instead of feeling anxious over who said what & if you did enough at work that day.

You are meant to be someone who lives a life that you’re proud of, where you DO follow your dreams and you aren’t stressing over what other may or may not be thinking of you and if you’re being judged.

You are meant to feel happy, seen, and LOVED in your relationships. You are meant to have people who genuinely care about your well-being and that you feel safe to be your whole, authentic self with.

You are a cycle breaker! You were created differently so you’re meant to LIVE differently. You aren’t MEANT to be the people-pleasing “good girl” who does everything for everyone else at the expense of your health and well-being. You’re MEANT to prioritize your needs, too, so that you can heal the next generation.

You are NOT someone who lives a life that feels empty, boring, and meaningless. You are NOT here to just eat, breathe, and sleep work – feeling like you’re on an endless hamster wheel of trying to prove your worth and feel accepted by others. 

You are not just another person who cares only about surface-level things and doesn’t have depth or uniqueness to you. You are a highly sensitive, intuitive, beautiful human being with gifts and love that is meant to be shared & given in return.

It’s time for you to stop being meek, timid, and allowing other people to walk all over you because you’re “a nice, kind person”. It’s time for you to feel respected, to not stress out so much about how much you DO, and to know how to truly relax without worrying about who or what needs you and what you “should” be doing all of the time!