A 12-week program for highly sensitive women who want to DROP the âGood Girlâ identity and step into being the Authentic Woman who is boldly confident, owns her imperfections, and feels seen, loved, & respected in her relationships. đđ„đ
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Breaking The Good Girl Cycle is...
The kind of program for self-abandoning âgood girlsâ that takes you from overanalyzing your sisterâs behavior, wondering if sheâs upset and if you need to swoop in to âfixâ things for her (again) TO having compassion for the people you care about without feeling responsible for fixing everyyy little thing (the vibe: âI love you, but youâve got this!â).
Itâs a program that FREES you from the confines of always trying to be perfect, have it all together, and NEVER upset anyone (because currently, even the IDEA of disappointing someone stresses you out, right?).Â
Breaking The Good Girl Cycle is the program to take you from feeling the crippling pressure of always needing to please others and prioritize THEIR needs (no matter how they treat you) to becoming the Authentic Woman whoâs loving, empathetic & kind AND has grounded confidence, healthy boundaries & says ânoâ with grace. đ
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Because when Good Girls become Authentic Women, they create lives of power, peace, and purpose. đđ„đ
And in true Breaking The Good Girl Cycle fashion, weâre saying GOODBYE toâŠ
đ€žđ§ Doing the mental gymnastics of dissecting everyoneâs emotions and needs, feeling responsible for managing ALL of it. Like, wondering if your momâs comment on the phone today was passive aggressive (âI donât really want to do anything for my birthday next weekâŠâ) and if sheâs actually expecting you to plan something. So, you add âmake a dinner reservationâ to your mile long to-do list because you know no one else in your family will remember.
đ„”Burning yourself out at work â always staying late at the office, working through your lunch (while you resentfully watch your coworkerâs leave for an hour every day!), and pushing through no matter how tired or sick you are JUST to be seen as impressive and like you can âhandle it allâ. Youâve become addicted to other peopleâs approval of you and receiving their validation while your mental and physical health suffers because of the chronic stress.
đ ââïžAvoiding your feelings by ONLY focusing on what youâre grateful for every day. You know itâs time to stop bypassing your very real emotions and guilting yourself for feeling sad or angry because âother people have it worseâ, often feeling ASHAMED for the real human emotions you have.
đThe perfectionistic thinking that if youâre justttt nice enough, say what people want to hear, and always do things the ârightâ way, youâll be able to slip under the radar and avoid conflict because everyone will like you and be happy with you. (Meanwhile, youâre exhausted from being hypervigilant and never letting your guard down đ°)
đ«ĄAlways saying âyesâ, agreeing with everyone else, and never sharing your TRUE opinion so that people are happy with you and YOU can feel like youâre a good person. Even though youâve gotten to the point where you literally donât know what you like, or how you feel because youâre always outwardly focused on other people.Â
If youâre reading this, my friend, then I know that up until this point, being the âGood Girlâ has been your identity. Itâs a survival response thatâs been the thing thatâs kept you feeling safe, accepted, and good enough. You donât know WHO you are if youâre NOT the âgood girlâ, right?
As a former over-responsible, âGood Girlâ, I GET IT. But hereâs the hard, loving truth that you NEED to know. —ïž
Apologizing constantly (even when you did nothing wrong), never having an opinion, making yourself responsible for everyone and everyTHING, feeling crippling guilt if you even SLIGHTLY inconvenience someone is making you appear LESS confident.Â
You might THINK that always being agreeable and putting others first makes people like you more⊠but the TRUTH is that it can feel inauthentic & make it harder for (the right) people to feel close to you because you always have a wall up and say âItâs okay! Donât worry about me! đâ while feeling secretly resentful and irritated.
It attracts the WRONG types of relationships to you â the people who WILL, unfortunately, take advantage of your kindness and see you as someone theyâre able to bulldoze & walk all over. Because the people whoâve benefitted from you NOT having boundaries are usually the ones who donât like when you set them, right?
With love, being the âgood girlâ will get you overlooked for the job promotion because while youâre kind & thoughtful (we love this about you), you arenât willing to share your TRUE opinion because youâre so nervous about rocking the boat, so people unconsciously donât see you as a confident leader they can rely on.
My friend, itâs time to step into your Authentic WOMAN era and say hello to living a meaningful, peaceful life where you relax in the backyard with a book, without your mind spinning about what you "SHOULD" be doing.
I want you to truly ENJOY simple moments with your family (literally belly laughing at your 2-year-oldâs adorable phrases) without worrying about what your coworker *might* be thinking of you or if that acquaintance you met likes you or your friend better.
Itâs time for you to DROP the âgood girlâ identity so that you can set healthy boundaries without feeling SO guilty, trust YOURSELF rather than always looking to others, and become a WOMAN who exudes magnetic, unapologetic confidence.
Because when Good Girls become Authentic Women, they create lives of power, peace, and purpose. đđ„đ
Okay, but HOW do we go from Good Girl to Authentic Woman?
I'm glad you asked. đ Let me break down the step-by-step process I'll be guiding you through in this 12-week program. đ€
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đPhase 1: Understanding How You Formed The âGood Girlâ Identity
Here, you will uncover HOW you formed the identity of being the âgood girlâ who always feels like you have to keep it all together, take care of everyone else, and never ever drop the ball. Weâll identify exactly where this stemmed from you, how itâs kept you feeling safe/accepted, and get real about what you are GAINING from continuing this pattern (because yes, thereâs something youâre getting from it which is why itâs so hard to break out of!)Â
You know how every time you try to set a boundary or stick up for yourself, it leads to you feeling guilty, or second-guessing yourself, or totally backpedaling because you donât want to upset the other person? Yeah, not anymore. Here you become someone who can clock yourself on those old patterns, handle discomfort, and choose yourself amidst it.
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â€ïžâđ©čPhase 2: Recognizing How Being The âGood Girlâ is Hurting You
Here, we get REAL about how the âgood girlâ identity is negatively impacting you and exactly which areas of your life itâs hurting the most. Youâll take a self-assessment to see how itâs coming up for you personally and why it may be the cause of chronic health issues; how itâs likely contributing to your relationship dissatisfaction and the way itâs stopping you from going after your dreams and being bold (because the fear of failure is too great - âwhat does it mean about me if I fail?â)
I refuse to let you be someone who lives with chronic anxiety, under the mounting pressure of âI need to do more all of the timeâ at the expense of your health, well-being, and personal peace. After this phase, you wonât be able to UN-see how this has impacted your life and youâll know exactly WHAT you need to focus on so that you become the person that others look to and say, âDang, she is so cool and confident! She really KNOWS who she is. I wanna be like HER.â or âYouâre always so relaxed! How do you do it?â
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đPhase 3: Getting In Touch With Your Emotions + Processing Them In A Healthy Way (With A Special Guest Expert!)
Here, you will learn how to tune into, feel, and process your emotions in a healthy way so that youâre no longer suppressing them, avoiding, or shaming yourself for the way that you feel. Because real talk? Most âgood girlsâ feel a lot of guilt around feeling big feelings, especially anger. And repressing your anger is KNOWN to cause chronic illness.
Here you become someone who is in TUNE with how you feel and knows how to process your emotions in a healthy way so that youâre not having emotional outbursts that surprise you, or dealing with chronic pain & illness that may very well be related to NOT feeling your emotions. Youâll know how to self-regulate so that you can use your deep-feeling, high sensitivity as a superpower and an ASSET in your life, rather than something you feel ashamed of.
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đPhase 4: The Power of Shadow Work + Shame Healing (With A Special Guest Expert!)
Here, youâll identify the parts of yourself that you cast aside and hid in order to fit in, belong, and feeling accepted by others â the shadow parts of you that you deemed as âbadâ and âunlovableâ. Youâll learn how to EMBRACE ALL parts of you â your quirkiness, dorky dance moves, passionate side, intensity, deep feelings.
Ever wonder why some people just EXUDE confidence and authenticity? Why theyâre just magnetic and someone you want to be around? Yeah, itâs because theyâre unapologetically themselves. They arenât trying to impress anyone or hide parts of themselves. They are SO comfortable with all parts of them, the shiny and not-so-shiny which oozes authenticity and attracts others to them. Thatâs exactly what you get when you heal your shame and embrace your shadow parts. You become untouchable.
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đPhase 5: Your NEW Identity As The Authentic Woman
Here, we cast the vision for the woman you are BECOMING (really, the woman you are within, at your core, that youâve covered up). What does this version of you look, feel, and act like? How does she handle conflict? What does she think of herself? Weâll get clear on WHO this version of you is! (This will allow you to cast the vision for your future - the North Star that youâre working toward; being your most true, Authentic self).
On the other side of this, youâre so CLEAR in who you truly, authentically are and youâll have a roadmap for exactly how you want to act and move through the world. With this awareness, youâll know where in your life you need to set boundaries and have tough conversations. Youâll feel a peace and congruence because you know WHO you are and where youâre going.
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đ§ââïžPhase 6: Embodiment & BEING The Authentic Woman
Here, youâll learn how to tune into the wisdom of your BODY â to feel comfortable in your skin, your essence, your sensuality. To heal any shame youâve felt for who you are and how you feel. Youâll learn how to be so intune with yourself, which as an HSP is a superpower because you have a tendency to be SO visceral and your body has so much wisdom. Itâs time to EMBRACE IT and USE IT.
I refuse to let you be someone whoâs disconnected from yourself and your body â who doesnât know whatâs going on with yourself or how you ACTUALLY feel. After this phase, youâre so in TUNE with yourself â your unique essence and the wisdom of your body. You know how to use it as a compass that guides you; you know what you need, what you feel, and you unapologetically trust yourself. You honor yourself â your body, your desires, your needs.
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đPhase 7: Authentic & Empowered Relationships
Here, we will identify your âgood girlâ triggers and get crystal clear on the ways that youâll be tempted to go back into your old, self-abandoning ways to keep yourself safe. Weâll look at the relationships you have in your life â the people whoâve, up until this point, expected you to act and BE a certain way because itâs benefitted them. Youâll learn how to transcend the discomfort of this experience so that you can stay committed to being the most authentic version of you.
You know how you feel confident and empowered around some people, but like you shrink 5 sizes around others? Yeah, weâre changing that! After this phase, youâll see your challenging relationships as opportunities to step into your NEW identity with even more confidence. Youâll know how to stay committed to yourself, amidst the discomfort, and redefine the dynamics of your relationships.
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đłPhase 8: Managing & Neutralizing Your Triggers For A Peaceful Life
Here, youâll learn and master my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers, so ANY TIME youâre thrown a curveball and feel overwhelmed, tempted to fall back into self-abandonment to keep yourself safe, youâll know how to use these triggers moments as opportunities to get curious, heal, and GROW.
On the other side of this, youâll know exactly how to create space between the triggering experience and YOUR response to it, so that youâre no longer yanked around by other peopleâs actions. You donât allow OTHER PEOPLE to make or break your day so you feel empowered and in control of your experience rather than like the âgood girlâ puppet like you were before.
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Because when Good Girls become Authentic Women, they create lives of power, peace, and purpose. đđ„đ
And at this point, you might be thinking⊠âIs Alissa reading my mind?â đđźÂ The answer? Yes and No. đ
You see⊠Iâve personally coached dozens of highly sensitive women, helping them set healthy boundaries in challenging friendships & family relationships, speak up with CONFIDENCE when dealing with opinionated family members, and tune into her strong intuition after YEARS of deferring to anyone else.
Iâm not here to waste ANYONEâS time. I know exactly what you need and exactly what you do NOT.
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Hereâs what to expect inside of Breaking The Good Girl Cycle (aka your next move to go from guilty, over-responsible, and burdened with EVERYONE elseâs issues to feeling relaxed, confident, and free from the pressure of perfectionism đźâđš):
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Youâll get 12-Weeks of Group Coaching Support which includes:
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7 Live Group Calls on Zoom: Where we'll be answering deep-dive reflection questions, partaking in healing group discussions, and you'll get the opportunity to ask questions &/or receive hot seat coaching from Alissa... so that you can hear from other highly sensitive women who are dissolving the âgood girlâ identity (thereâs SO much power in healing & becoming the Authentic Woman alongside others!), form a sisterhood with other women just like YOU, and learn how to INTEGRATE everything you're learning so that you can LIVE AS the Authentic Woman.
-
2 Guest Expert Workshops (covering Emotions & Shadow/Shame): Iâm bringing in experts to lead us through a deep-dive workshop on each of these topics so that youâll know exactly HOW to do deep healing in specific areas of your life and learn tools you can keep coming back to so that you can DEEPEN your embodiment of being the Authentic Woman. You're gonna learn how to process your emotions so that you don't let fear or anxiety hold you back from setting boundaries. You're gonna learn how to EMBRACE all parts of you through shadow work so that you BECOME that magnetic woman that people are DRAWN to. Weâre ALL about overdelivering here.
-
6 Self-Paced Trainings to support you in going from people-pleasing âgood girlâ to the authentic woman youâve always been meant to be: Youâll dive into the training materials on your OWN time and then come to our calls where you'll deepen what you've learned through group exercises, discussions, and the chance to ask questions + receive coaching so that you're not only LEARNING valuable information, but you're LIVING it. Because I value you, your transformation & you BECOMING the Authentic Woman, AND your time the most.
- A community-led, private Facebook group for students:Â This is where you'll connect with the other highly sensitive women in this program between calls â where you can share experiences, ask each other questions, and if you find people you really vibe with, swap information so that you can connect outside of social media. Because there's SO much healing power in seeing you're not alone and forming meaningful connections with other women who truly GET it and are committed to their growth & BECOMING the Authentic Woman alongside you.
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Breaking The Good Girl Cycle is NOT...
A self-paced course that teaches you how to set boundaries and gives you scripts, but doesnât address WHY speaking up for yourself is so hard for you. Because you NEED more than a surface-level solution! Thereâs a deeper reason why you keep self-abandoning.
This is NOT a program teaching you how to be a âBad Girlâ (lol). đ I donât WANT you to lose your kind, gentle, empathetic nature and become someone youâre actually notâŠÂ
No, Breaking The Good Girl Cycle leads you to becoming MORE of your TRUE SELF, aka the Authentic Woman. đ„đ
A woman who is so unapologetically herself. Someone who embraces her soft, gentle, empathetic nature AND knows how to set boundaries with confidence & certainty.
Youâll become someone who can laugh at yourself â who doesnât put so much pressure on yourself to be perfect and always perform and never mess up.
Youâll become someone who gives yourself grace, and trusts yourself, and has your own back, and doesnât waver in what you think you *should* say because you have such a deep, connected relationship with yourself.
Does this feel out of reach? Because I can promise you⊠itâs closer than you think!
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Inside Breaking The Good Girl Cycle, youâre about to:
đImprove your relationships: Feel seen, respected, & VALUED in your relationships because youâre no longer people-pleasing but rather setting healthy boundaries, communicating your needs with confidence, and being authentically yourself which creates a deeper, healthier connection.
Wave goodbye to resentfully doing everything for everyone else, while getting scraps in return⊠and never look back. đ
âïžBecome more successful in your career: Itâs time to get COMFY with unapologetic self-confidence and all of its perks â like being highly respected in the workplace, getting promoted for that dream position and acknowledged for what you do because you carry yourself as a confident woman who attracts respect.
After this, youâll KNOW your worth, be in alignment with who you truly are (quirks & all, baby), and no longer be a people-pleasing âgood girlâ who seeks other peopleâs approval at the expense of your well-being. đ
đ±Feel HEALTHIER, calmer, and more regulated: because youâre no longer chronically stressed trying to be perfect at work, please everyone person in your life, and âdo all the thingsâ just to feel like youâre good enough.Â
On the other side of this, youâre more relaxed and present in your daily life because youâre no longer rushing & hustling, trying to keep up and prove your worth to everyone. đ
The vibe? Let's just say, I've been there.
Growing up, I was always the âgood girlâ â the girl who was quiet, agreeable, and nice â who always followed the rules, and did & said the right thing.
I thrived off of being told how nice and kind I was. Being seen as the âgood girlâ got me off the hook a lot and allowed me to avoid conflict. It kept me SAFE.
But I also felt like I needed to do SO MUCH to keep people around â to make sure they saw me as valuable & good enough. At all costs, I had to hide the âbadâ parts of me that I was so ashamed of (my sensitivity, big emotions, and intensity).
In college, I prided myself in being the âcool girlâ (basically just the âgood girlâ in different clothes!) who didnât have any needs. I was easygoing. I didnât complain. I never rocked the boat.
Yet, I was always walked all over. I had an emotionally toxic relationship that I put up with for years. I thought it was uncool to have âneedsâ and to be demanding, so I always acted like I was okay with whatever even when things bothered me, deep down.Â
I found safety in being liked by others â in being seen as easygoing and not having needs and being told âyouâre so cool! I wish other girls were like you.â I found status in being the cool girl and even judged others who werenât. I tried my best to hide my sensitivity and any parts of me that could be seen as âneedyâ.
When I worked in the corporate world, I thrived off hearing, âI donât know how you do it all!â and âAlissa is such a superstar!â while I had such bad digestive issues that I could only eat a small variety of foods without getting sick.
My identity was so wrapped up in how OTHER people saw me that Iâd rather abandon myself and live with sickness than let others down or be seen as ânot good enoughâ.
At that same corporate job, a male coworker was inappropriate toward me. And even though I knew it was wrong, I was terrified of confronting him and coming across as âmeanâ. I didnât want to seem âuncoolâ or experience backlash as a result of speaking up.
I was SO uncomfortable with ever making other people uncomfortable, that Iâd rather sit with pain and frustration and anxiety than ever speak up. Other peopleâs experience mattered more than mine (and also, my sense of safety was wrapped up in how other people viewed me).
It all came to a head when my digestive issues became completely unmanageable.
I learned that I was self-abandoning and that I ultimately had to heal my self-worth and the way that I valued myself. I learned that there were deep factors that kept me stuck in the claws of perfectionism and being viewed as âgoodâ and âalways doing the right thingâ.
If I wanted to heal and live a life that felt authentic to me, I had to stop allowing other peopleâs perception of me and my identity of the âgood girlâ go away from good. I had to learn how to be COMFORTABLE with discomfort â how to let others down without that meaning I was a bad person. How to trust myself, feel connected to myself, know who I am instead of letting my personality be dictated by the people I was around.Â
From there, I felt a confidence and an inner peace. That wherever I go, there I am. That I have my own back, always. That I am the person that I can rely on and that I can make mistakes and Iâm still good enough.
I can be rejected, let others down, and say the wrong thing and thatâs perfect. That I can take imperfect, messy action and itâll be the exact thing that catapults me forward â that hiding behind the facade of the âgood girlâ is the thing that made me sick and unhappy and in a prison of what I thought I needed to be for other people.
Let 2024 be the year you do the same.
Let 2024 be the year you choose YOURSELF and become the Authentic Woman who tosses the guilt to the side, OWNS who you are, and isnât so darn worried about what everyoneâs thinking all of the time.
Youâve made it this far, so hereâs what I know about youâŠ
I know you are someone who wants a life that feels peaceful, fulfilling, and meaningful. You want to rest in the evening, being present with your family, without worrying about if your coworker is upset with you because of the weird vibe she gave you.
You want to be so HERE and NOW that you belly laugh with your kids and hold hands with your spouse while looking at the sunset because youâre so in the present instead of feeling anxious over who said what & if you did enough at work that day.
You are meant to be someone who lives a life that youâre proud of, where you DO follow your dreams and you arenât stressing over what other may or may not be thinking of you and if youâre being judged.
You are meant to feel happy, seen, and LOVED in your relationships. You are meant to have people who genuinely care about your well-being and that you feel safe to be your whole, authentic self with.
You are a cycle breaker! You were created differently so youâre meant to LIVE differently. You arenât MEANT to be the people-pleasing âgood girlâ who does everything for everyone else at the expense of your health and well-being. Youâre MEANT to prioritize your needs, too, so that you can heal the next generation.
You are NOT someone who lives a life that feels empty, boring, and meaningless. You are NOT here to just eat, breathe, and sleep work â feeling like youâre on an endless hamster wheel of trying to prove your worth and feel accepted by others.Â
You are not just another person who cares only about surface-level things and doesnât have depth or uniqueness to you. You are a highly sensitive, intuitive, beautiful human being with gifts and love that is meant to be shared & given in return.
Itâs time for you to stop being meek, timid, and allowing other people to walk all over you because youâre âa nice, kind personâ. Itâs time for you to feel respected, to not stress out so much about how much you DO, and to know how to truly relax without worrying about who or what needs you and what you âshouldâ be doing all of the time!
Only the best for my Cycle Breakers đ...
Let's break down what to expect inside of Breaking The Good Girl Cycle đȘ©
By joining Breaking The Good Girl Cycle, you're getting 12-Weeks of Group Coaching Support which INCLUDES:
-
7 Live Group Calls on Zoom: Where we'll be answering deep-dive reflection questions, partaking in healing group discussions, and you'll get the opportunity to ask questions &/or receive hot seat coaching from Alissa... so that you can hear from other highly sensitive women who are dissolving the âgood girlâ identity (thereâs SO much power in healing & becoming the Authentic Woman alongside others!), form a sisterhood with other women just like YOU, and learn how to INTEGRATE everything you're learning so that you can LIVE AS the Authentic Woman.
-
2 Guest Expert Workshops (covering Emotions & Shadow/Shame): Iâm bringing in experts to lead us through a deep-dive workshop on each of these topics so that youâll know exactly HOW to do deep healing in specific areas of your life and learn tools you can keep coming back to so that you can DEEPEN your embodiment of being the Authentic Woman. You're gonna learn how to process your emotions so that you don't let fear or anxiety hold you back from setting boundaries. You're gonna learn how to EMBRACE all parts of you through shadow work so that you BECOME that magnetic woman that people are DRAWN to. Weâre ALL about overdelivering here.
-
6 Self-Paced Trainings to support you in going from people-pleasing âgood girlâ to the authentic woman youâve always been meant to be: Youâll dive into the training materials on your OWN time and then come to our calls where you'll deepen what you've learned through group exercises, discussions, and the chance to ask questions + receive coaching so that you're not only LEARNING valuable information, but you're LIVING it. Because I value you, your transformation & you BECOMING the Authentic Woman, AND your time the most.
- A community-led, private Facebook group for students:Â This is where you'll connect with the other highly sensitive women in this program between calls â where you can share experiences, ask each other questions, and if you find people you really vibe with, swap information so that you can connect outside of social media. Because there's SO much healing power in seeing you're not alone and forming meaningful connections with other women who truly GET it and are committed to their growth & BECOMING the Authentic Woman alongside you.
The Nitty Gritty —ïž
- Enrollment CLOSES Friday, Oct 4th
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12-weeks of support until Dec 20th, 2024
- Lifetime access to course material including self-paced training + call replays
Not quite ready to join us inside of Breaking The Good Girl Cycle? We've got you covered! —ïž
Join us inside of FREE From Self-Abandonment. đïž A self-guided 2-week course for highly sensitive women who want to DROP the "Good Girl" identity & breakthrough self-abandonment so that you're FREE from: feeling responsible for everyone else, guilty for prioritizing yourself, and the crippling pressure of ALWAYS needing to do things perfectly.
JOIN FREE FROM SELF-ABANDONMENT