How I Made Meditation a Daily Habit (Plus Tips for Cultivating Your Own Practice!)

Have you ever been in the middle of a good day and reminded yourself of something to be worried about? Wait, wait, no you’re not supposed to be happy right now. Remember? You were stressed about that thing earlier.

That was me on Monday morning.

I had taken the day off, the sun was shining, I’d gotten a great night’s rest. Life is great! I felt joyful. And then, my mind did that thing it’s good at… searched for what’s wrong. Bam! I remembered something I’d worried about the night before and it instantly dampened my mood. 

Thankfully, this happened right before I started my morning meditation. I took a deep breath and reminded myself that I get to choose how I view things. I get to decide how a situation affects my mood. My perception determines the life I live. 

My meditation practice has taught me to think this way in my daily life. To catch myself when I go to a dark place. To stop, reflect, and flip the switch. Respond instead of react. I’m not always great at this, but I’m much, much better than I used to be. 

Like actually, infinitely better, because before meditation, I pretty much only reacted. I was yanked around by my emotions, worries, fears, stressors. I didn’t even realize there was any other way to be. I had no idea how to separate myself from my thoughts. I didn’t even know it was a thing. I believed every thought that came to my mind as if it were wholeheartedly the truth.

How did meditation teach me this? I feel like a lot of people think meditation is about “clearing your mind”. But actually, it’s about separating yourself from your thoughts. During seated meditation, it’s about becoming aware, noticing your thoughts and watching them pass by without attaching to them.

In day-to-day life, my meditation practice has given me the ability to notice my thoughts now instead of immediately believing them. Not always, but I’m better. Because I’ve been practicing for a few years, I’m able to recognize an anxious thought as something I’ve created in my mind. Instead of immediately going into a state of anxiety, I’m able to separate myself from it. I can tell myself, Oh, that’s an anxious thought I just made up. Let’s replace it with something that feels better.

I’ve wanted to write a post about meditation since I started my blog but I’ve put it off because I wasn’t sure I’d be able to articulate it well. I don’t have all of the scientific facts or the history of meditation. I only have my own experience and what I’ve learned along the way.

And, you see, my meditation practice is sacred to me. I just wanted to be sure I did it justice if I wrote about it.

Well, I read recently that “done is better than perfect.” And while that may sound like I’m half-assing it, I’ve learned that if I wait until I think I can do something perfectly, I’ll never do it.

So, here’s what I know.

How I Got Into Meditation

I started meditating about three years ago when I was at a low point in my life. Isn’t that how these things always start?

My digestive system was shot. I had SIBO and leaky gut which were largely attributed to stress. I felt anxious a lot. Why? Because that was my baseline. I was used to being an anxious, high strung person so that’s what I defaulted to. If I felt good, I, subconsciously, found ways to make myself feel anxious again.

I was sick of it. Sick of myself. So, for my birthday that year, I asked for a book called Escape Anxiety by Suzanne Jessee. Jessee had dealt with crippling anxiety herself. Much worse than me. Like, panic attacks landing her in the hospital. And her saving grace was meditation. 

This wasn’t my first introduction to meditation. I’d tried it a few times on the Headspace app– five minute meditations with zen music where I thought about breakfast the entire time. I had kind of written it off. It doesn’t really work for me.

I was open to trying again, though. I was desperate.

In each chapter of the book, Jessee provided a guided meditation. She wrote out a meditative scene that you were to visualize yourself in. In one of the meditations, you’re sitting at a creek and watching how the water washes downstream. You watch the water carry sticks and leaves. You visualize your worries as the debris, slowly being washed downstream. 

I’m a visual person so I thought a visualization meditation might actually work for me. I wanted to give it my best shot. So, I recorded myself reading the meditation, then closed my eyes and listened to my voice through headphones. 

It’s not the most relaxing experience to listen to your own voice. But, learning about guided meditations opened my eyes to a new way of meditating. I realized I really, really wanted to make this a habit. If it helped a woman with chronic panic attacks get better, it can help me.

Side note: If you’re wondering why I’m telling you all about my own experience of getting into meditation and thinking, Okay, just tell me your tips! Then by all means, scroll down to the tips section. But, I’m sharing all of this as a reminder that the road to finding a meditation practice that works for you isn’t always linear. It’s often trial and error and being open to trying it different ways. And you know, maybe my journey resonates with you.

So, after being introduced to guided visualization meditations through Escape Anxiety, I turned to Youtube where I found countless guided meditations. I liked ones that were anywhere from 5-15 minutes long. I started out meditating 3 or 4 times a week before work. Eventually, it became daily.

What My Meditation Practice Looks Like Today

Today, I use the Insight Timer app which I recommend to anyone and everyone. The app has thousands of free guided meditations, as well as tracks for helping you sleep.

As soon as I wake up in the morning, I head to my backyard zen teepee for meditation. And no, you don’t need a special zen room for meditation. You just need a quiet space where you won’t be disturbed.

I like to be warm and comfortable when I meditate (you often get chilly when you’re just sitting there) so I typically wrap up in a blanket and make sure I’m comfy on my cushion.

I personally like guided meditations. It’s what works best for me. I’ve saved dozens of guided meditations on my Insight Timer app, so I’ll often replay one of my favorites. Or, I’ll search for a meditation that fits my mood. For example, if I’m feeling anxious, I’ll search for an anxiety meditation. Maybe I’m feeling worried about money, I’ll search for an abundance meditation.

Before I start my practice, I take a deep breath. My meditation time is my sacred time and I try my best to be present for it.

Most mornings, I meditate for about 15 minutes. Some mornings, I realize I thought about my to-do list the entire time. Other mornings, I feel super connected and totally sink in. No matter what, I’m always proud of myself for being consistent and following through. Though, at this point, it’s like brushing my teeth. I just don’t skip it.

What benefits have I gained from meditation?

• Reduced anxiety
• A greater appreciation for life
• A deeper connection with myself
• Heightened intuition
• Tools for handling stress in daily life
• More patience
• More love and acceptance of others

Want to start your own meditation practice? Here are my tips.

• Make it a habit. Find a time that works for you and make it non-negotiable. If you know meditating first thing in the morning will be a hard habit for you to keep, do it at night before bed instead. And be realistic! Start small. I’d recommend beginning with 5 minutes a few days a week and building up your practice from there.
• Be consistent. I honestly think this is one of the most important tips I can give. I feel like so often people trying meditating for a few days, don’t see immediate results (or feel like they suck at it) and quit. Consistency compounds and I promise, over time, you’ll notice a change in your life. You’ve just gotta keep at it.
• Allow yourself to really be present. This is much easier said that done, but it’s the whole point of the practice. Your 10 minute meditation may be the only time in your day where you get complete silence; a chance to connect with yourself. Give yourself those 10 minutes. Your to-do list can wait a little bit longer.
• Don’t judge yourself when you get distracted. It’s inevitable! And I think this is why so many of us feel like we’re bad meditators. We get distracted when we think we should be all zenned out, so we judge ourself and think, Well, I guess I’m just not meant to do this! Meditation is a practice. When you actually notice yourself getting distracted and bring yourself back to your breath, that’s when you’re truly practicing meditation (because you’re noticing!)
• Don’t breathe weird. I always did this when I first started meditating and it threw me off. I thought I had to breathe extra deep and purposefully throughout the whole practice. No, just breathe normal. This is why I like guided meditations, because for a portion of the meditation, they may tell you to take some deep breaths but then they remind you to go back to breathing normally.
• Get comfortable. Look, this probably doesn’t align with the traditional way of meditating but I know what works for me. Comfort. If it feels terribly uncomfortable to sit upright with your back straight, don’t do that! Lay down. Sit in your favorite chair. Prop yourself up in bed. Yes, you ideally want to have good posture and not be all slumped over. But, get comfortable so you can focus on your practice instead of on how uncomfortable you feel.
• Don’t focus on clearing your mind. This will only frustrate you. Our brains were designed to think. Instead of trying to clear your mind of thoughts, just passively notice the thoughts that come up. View your thoughts as clouds passing through or waves in the ocean. Any time you find yourself getting lost in a thought, simply bring yourself back to your breath and start again.

And, exhale. That was a long post. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me! And if you want to learn more from the professionals (I’d recommend it) here are some great resources:

• Ten Percent Happier – I learned almost everything I know about meditation from Dan Harris’ 10% Happier podcast! He interviews some amazing guests and focuses solely on meditation and living a better life.
• Sharon Salzberg
• Deepak Chopra
• Light Watkins

Happy meditating!

With love,

Alissa